30 weeks pregnant.
I was a ticking time bomb. I had 7 weeks till I was to head down to Utah to have this baby. I was sick of being pregnant but wanted to keep him in there forever because he was safe. This remaining time, however, was important for David and I because we needed to get as much money as we could in savings. David started his semester and we both knew it was going to be a challenging one. He was taking immunology, organic chemistry, ecology and an independent problems course. I started having 1-2 doctors appointments a week. Between doctors appointments and work I was exhausted. I felt like Ollie was as sick of doctors appointments as I was. It became increasingly hard for the ultrasound techs to get pictures of his heart because he wouldn’t allow it. He would roll around and move right when they were about to get the perfect shot…and kick a lot too.
Around this time I decided that I didn’t want a baby shower. I didn’t know if this baby was going to survive or not. We didn’t buy much but I did find comfort in buying things here and there. It made me feel like maybe we would get to take him home and raise him. We slowly started buying diapers….then a stroller and carseat. Right before I “moved” to Utah at 37 weeks we somewhat got the nursery finished. I kept putting these things off because in the back of my mind I didn’t think we would need them. I ended up having 2 showers and both were by surprise. 3 of my friends took me to lunch and showered me with gifts. I held tears back as I walked into the restaurant and realized that all 3 of them had taken the time to be there for me. The little things like this kept me going. My 2nd shower was thrown by my bishops wife. She is one of the kindest most thoughtful people I have ever met. I was so humbled that many ladies from my ward took time out of their lives to shower me with more gifts.
36 weeks pregnant.
I was on the brink of tears this whole week. I couldn’t stand the thoughts of leaving my husband, my dog, my job, my home, my family. Poor David had to pick me up a lot this week. I thought of delivery day as D-day. I considered going against my doctors wishes and staying in Idaho until I was 39 weeks along or in labor! I came to my senses and realized that this was not the brightest idea I had ever had, so I started to pack up my life. I didn’t know how long I would be in Utah, but knew it could be as long as 6 weeks. I had constant butterflies thinking about leaving. As dramatic as this sounds I felt like a “lamb going to the slaughterhouse”. I knew the next few weeks would be hard but I don’t think I could have prepared for just how hard they would be. David and I dropped our dog off in Blackfoot and said bye to both my parents. My mom gave me a note and I will never forget what it said. She told me that she loved me and if she could take my place so I didn’t have to do this, she would. I shed my tears and headed off down the road to my in laws house in Utah.
37 weeks pregnant.
Davids parents housed me my last 2 weeks of pregnancy. This was a huge blessing to us because we didn’t have to pay for a hotel room. I had 2 non stress tests a week. At one of my appointments they were worried about my blood pressure and ran some tests to rule out pre-eclampsia. It turned out that I was fine. Since it was such a tense time in my life I am certain that my blood pressure was high because I was so scared. During this waiting period in Utah I felt like I was wasting time. I wasn’t working and making money and David was in Idaho going to school. I spent the next 2 weeks trying every labor inducing method known to man. None of them worked and I ended up being the laziest I have ever been in my life. I watched Netflix, read books, slept, and ate. At the time I thought it was a waste of time but now I know that it was a gift. I was about to embark the most exhausting journey of my life and didn’t even know it. My advice would be to sleep and take care of yourself before having this baby. Recovering from having a baby is hard, but it is even harder doing it while sitting by your child’s hospital bed.
**I have made a page dedicated to packing for the hospital. It has all of the things I took or wished I would have had. You can find it under the title “hospital packing list”.